My brain injury outcomes changed everything in my life, and it didn’t take long to learn how little traditional medicine had to offer me. I found meditation quite by accident, while trying to find a way to deal with my insomnia and the often debilitating brain fatigue that always followed.
As I’ve discussed in previous posts, I lost my ability to read well after my TBI, so I now turn to audio versions of most of the books I consume. While reviewing what to use my Audible credits on one month, I somehow ran across a book by Eckhart Tolle called “The Power of Now,” which is basically an essay on mindfulness and the benefit of being focused on the present moment. This sparked my curiosity on the whole mindfulness concept and how adding mindfulness to my life might make things different. After listening to several books on the concepts and practice of mindfulness, I read “Hurry Up and Meditate” by David Michie and this started my research into what meditation had to offer.
In my posts, I’ve started adding research references to let you know what I write is more than just my perspective. But the truth is that when it’s just me, I often follow a more experiential approach. This was true with meditation. I read the writings of people who seemed to present good information even though they didn’t cite any research references, and it sounded good, so I decided to try it for myself.
How It Began
Reading “Hurry Up and Meditate” helped me to understand that this is a beneficial practice that virtually anyone can incorporate into their lives. I started. I tried some of the techniques I’d read about, but I felt so very underinformed that I continued to search for books to guide me. That’s when I found “Mindfulness, Six Guided Practices for Awakening” by Joseph Goldstein – a series of meditations delivered as an audio book.
My life changed in amazing ways with this book. I got to a point where I’d start this audio book every night as I turned out the lights for bed. It slowly trained me not on how to control my mind, but how to guide it in peaceful directions that, with time and practice, started quieting the cyclical thought spirals that could keep me awake for several hours each night. In the beginning, I often had to start the two and a half hour book a second time – but after a couple of weeks of following the guidance I was asleep before it ended. A few more weeks found me pretty consistently asleep before the first chapter was complete. And after a couple of months of working with his teachings, I’d be asleep in less than 20 minutes.
How it Grew
In time, I ran across a meditation app for my phone. There’s several of them out there, I landed on Insight Timer. It offers a simple timer that you can use to set your meditation goals and let you know when you’ve reached them. It also offers an ever-changing variety of guided meditations and meditation audio courses. Initially, I dived into the guided meditations and would occasionally just use the timer to do my own meditations.
Memory still isn’t my strong point, so I don’t recall how I came across Transcendental Meditation (TM). But I saw an opportunity for some actual meditation training for me and for my girlfriend as well, who was also interested in getting back into meditation (something she had once done but not on a daily basis and not for a few years) – so I signed us up. It’s not free, but luckily for me TM training offers an income-based sliding scale to set student tuition.
My TM training gave me a solid foundation on which to form a twice daily meditation practice, which has grown into meditating 2 to 3 times a day, every day without fail. But curiosity defines me, so I continue to look at different meditation practices, trying them to see how they might fit into my life. I often fluctuate between various styles throughout each week; how I feel on different days can draw me in different directions. If my mind is continually moving into thought during a mindfulness practice, I may add in some simple mantras to give me a solid anchor point. When the mind still wanders, I sometimes move into an awareness body scan practice to keep my mind busy yet stay in the present moment.
Good Things are Coming
This is my second post in my Meditation series. I’ll continue this series with explorations into various meditation practices, backed by research when available but focused on my own experience. I just want to present possibilities for you to consider. Yes, you can start with training – but I took a more cautious (and frugal) approach which was to start exploring meditation on my own, and was then motivated to take classes to better understand what I was trying to do. My point being that you don’t have to spend any money at all to start a practice, experience some of the benefits, and to decide if it’s something you need to explore more deeply.
In my coming posts, I’ll explore different meditation styles along with some popular aids for the casual meditator – like audio books, meditation apps, and more. If you are a brain injury survivor, see if anything resonates with you and give it a chance… but know this, you have to be willing to put forward a certain amount of effort for the benefits you’ll get. If you’re a caregiver, consider what practices might benefit both you and the one you care for. I’ve tried to get my mother started meditating, but so far within the first 30 seconds she tells me it’s boring and goes back to watching TV. Nothing comes for free – but the benefits of meditation are so very much worth the small price tag. I encourage you to follow me on this journey…you just may, as I did, find something that changes your life in positive ways.
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