Even after all this time, I still notice positive changes in my symptoms on a fairly regular basis. My doctor told me that, for the most part, what was going to heal would do so in the first two years. Even though there are studies (1) stating that this is true for the majority of brain injuries, this hasn’t been my experience. My first two years were, unquestionably, the most difficult of my healing journey, but the truth is that a majority of my healing has come well outside of that two-year mark.
Sleep Patterns
Right after my injury, sleep was very difficult. I’d lie awake for an hour or two wanting nothing more than to sleep. Once I did drift off, however, I’d continue to wake up throughout the night, each time struggling to get back to sleep. I tried many remedies, including a non-narcotic sleeping pill (Trazadone), melatonin supplements, valerian root supplements, herbal teas, etc. It seemed like these things helped, but I’ve been working to reduce the number of sleep aids I use, and now I’m down to Trazadone on an as-needed basis.
One of the big changes I’ve held on to throughout it all is my sleep schedule. I target an 8pm bedtime almost every night. This means that I wake around 4:30 or so most mornings, but it has allowed me to get a clear circadian rhythm established. My health app typically reports that my actual sleep time is around seven and a half to eight hours, which consistently leaves me feeling refreshed and ready in the morning.
My wife is hoping that sometime soon I’ll decide to have more of an “adult bedtime”, but she understands that I still struggle when I come up short on sleep. Some mornings I wake feeling a little tired, as I did this morning. My health app shows that I got 6 hours 43 minutes of sleep last night. A single night of poor sleep no longer has the severely debilitating effect that it once did, but if it persists, it wouldn’t be a good thing for me.
Remembering Dreams
As I wrote in my post Remembering Dreams After my Brain Injury, I tried many different techniques to help me begin to remember my dreams again. That was before I married Marcie, and now I have someone next to me when I sleep, so some of those techniques have been abandoned. I no longer diffuse oils, or drink a lot of tea before bed, and I no longer use a voice recorder in the middle of the night to try to capture the pieces I occasionally remember.
Yet in recent weeks, I’ve noticed a huge change in this area. I’m starting to recall parts of my dreams almost every morning now. This is very exciting for me, since for years now I have rarely even been able to remember if I even had a dream, much less what it was about. Even this morning, I remember a chunk of the dream I was having just before I woke up.
Noise Tolerance and Overstimulation
Some environments still require me to put in my ear plugs and focus on my breathing a bit, but I’ve improved so very much here. It wasn’t so long ago that, even with my ear plugs, I’d need to excuse myself from crowded spaces periodically for a sanity break. I’m able to tolerate chaos at a better level than I once was. It’s still not my preferred environment, but it’s not as difficult as it once was to be surrounded by chaos.
Just recently, at Marcie’s family Christmas party, I was able to be in the group the entire evening. Yes, I wore ear plugs – those are still needed for such occasions – but I was able to be in the same space as everyone else the entire time. And then there was the NFL football game we went to on New Year’s Day. Trust that ear protection was in place even before we went into the stadium, but I survived an incredibly chaotic environment for nearly 4 hours. Yes, I was completely ready to leave once the game was over, but I actually had an enjoyable experience the entire time we were there.
Memory
This one is still a struggle. I feel like I’m much better than I once was, but I still forget things on a daily basis it seems. It’s not just short-term memory either, there are things that should be in long-term memory that just disappear as well.
It’s all too often that Marcie will ask me about something that we’ve talked about previously and I will have no memory of ever talking about it. With work, I’ve developed good habits and am still writing down the things I need to remember and the tasks I need to complete, so that this doesn’t impact my job performance. But I’ve gotten away from using the stylus on my phone to jot down notes to jog my memory as needed. Yes, I still make shopping lists on my phone, and sometimes I make a quick note when I’m concerned that I may not remember something, but I do it a lot less than I once did.
Parting Thoughts
Taking inventory of where we are is so important. Paying attention when things are improving and showing that we are healing provides inspiration and motivation for us to keep pushing forward. I don’t know if I’ll ever heal to the level I was before my injury, but I do know that I’m not done healing. I see evidence of this regularly, often when I’m not even looking for it.
Yes, much will heal in the first two years, but if we continue to do the things that promote healing, the healing continues well beyond that mark. I can’t imagine how much I would be struggling on a day-to-day basis if I were still in the same condition I was in at the end of my second year.
After what the doctor told me, I didn’t know how much I’d heal after the first two years, but now I know that is where most of my healing actually happened. But it requires us to pay attention and do the right things. Looking at the self-care habits that have helped me the most, I’d have to list meditation, sleep hygiene, and nutrition as my top three. Do your research, find what works for you, and make it your daily routine.
References
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